I got anxious out of nowhere this week.

And it's been months.

Like six months since I've felt this level and persistency of the crushing panic in my chest.

The dry mouth.

The scattered thoughts.

The inability to focus. To feel purpose driven and fulfilled.

Interestingly, it's different this time.

I want to pause here before I go further, because this matters for context.

My life is amazing. Like genuinely, actually amazing. I have a loving family. I am safe, secure, loved. Great friends. All of the above.

And I still experience feelings of anxiety. Of lacking worthiness. Of questioning my purpose and my value.

I have felt this way since I can remember. It largely comes down to nervous system dysregulation. My nervous system is just wired that way.

And I share that because I want you to know this is not about circumstances. It is not about having enough, doing enough, or being enough on paper. You can have everything and still feel the wobble.

What's different this time

I could observe it.

I could observe the feelings of anxiety. I could observe the physical symptoms, the tight chest, the dry mouth, the scattered thoughts, and get curious about them. Ask questions. Without being consumed by them. Without it derailing my life.

That is new. That is the work of two decades showing up.

And here's what else happened

I hit every single workout planned this week.

I hit my protein target. My calorie target. I ate well.

The anxiety didn't lead to emotional eating. It didn't lead to throwing in the towel.

Because I've worked for so long to be consistent that the plan is now the foundation. When I feel rocky, the structure doesn't change. I don't feed feelings of worthlessness or worry with food. I nourish them with movement, meditation, supplementation, connection.

That is a skill. One I have practised, failed at, gotten better at, and practised again and again over two decades.

And you can too.

The thing nobody tells you about weight loss

Sitting here writing this, something became really clear to me.

The number on the scale won't do it.

The number in your bank account won't do it.

Someone telling you you're doing an amazing job won't do it.

Someone telling you you're a good mum won't do it.

All of it, every single piece of outside validation, will fall empty and temporary when you do not feel worthy within yourself, by yourself, of yourself.

Self worth is a feeling. And it is an inside job.

The scale can say whatever you want it to say and you will still find something to pull apart if you haven't done this work. I know because I've been there. I've hit the goal and stood in the mirror and still felt like it wasn't enough.

Because it was never about the number. It was always about this.

So what is the practice?

It's between you and you.

Your experience with yourself. Your experience with your health, your body, your choices. No one else can do this part for you.

It doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to be linear. Mine certainly hasn't been.

But it starts with choosing yourself first. Holding yourself through the wobble. Nourishing yourself when you feel like punishing yourself. Staying consistent when your feelings are telling you to quit.

That is the real work. And it is the work that changes everything.

Not just your weight. Your whole life.

If this landed for you and you're ready to stop going it alone, I'd love to hold space for you in a Clarity Call. It's where we start.

Book your Clarity Call here