If you have lost the same five kilograms more than once, this is for you.

If you have started over on a Monday more times than you can count, this is for you.

If you have done everything right, seen progress, and then somehow undone it all, this is for you.

What you are experiencing has a name. Self sabotage.

Here's what Self Sabotage IS NOT:
-

• A character flaw

• Laziness

• Proof that you are not capable.

IT IS:

A skill gap.
And skills can be learned.

The real reason you keep starting over

I have been a functional nutritionist for over a decade. And the number one thing I see holding women back from lasting results is not their diet.

It is their mind.

More specifically, it's what happens in their mind the moment things get hard, slow, or imperfect.

I know this because I have lived it. I spent over sixteen years in a disordered relationship with food. The fear of doing something wrong, of putting on weight, of feeling awful, sent me straight into a spiral every single time. And that spiral always ended the same way"

Emotional eating. Throwing in the towel. Starting over.

That cycle, that exhausting, demoralising loop,

Is what yo yo dieting actually is.

It is not a diet problem, nor a YOU problem.

What it IS, is a mindset habit.

What self sabotage actually looks like

It looks like three weeks of doing everything right and then blowing it on the weekend because you were stressed.

It looks like the scale not moving for a few days and deciding the whole thing is not working.

It looks like one bad meal turning into one bad week turning into one bad month.

It looks like being so good during the week that the weekend becomes a free for all.

It looks like getting close to your goal and suddenly finding every reason to stop.

Sound familiar?

This is not weakness. This is what happens when we have never been taught to be the adult for ourselves.
Like when a child asks for chocolate before dinner and the parent says no, have your meal first.
Yet we do not always give ourselves that same firm and loving redirection.

Most of us have never learned to be the steward of our own body.

To hold the line with kindness when things get uncomfortable.

So instead we collapse into guilt, shame, and self criticism.

And then we eat our feelings.

And then we start over on Monday.

The pivot: what people who succeed do differently

The women who finally break the cycle, who lose the weight and keep it off, who build the body and the life they actually want, they still have bad days.

They still doubt themselves.

They still feel shame and guilt and every messy emotion you feel.

But they know how to acknowledge it and pivot.

Instead of sinking into the spiral they ask themselves a different question.

What is the alternative? Do I still want the result or am I willing to give it up?

That is a solutions based mindset. And it's the difference between the people who get there and the people who keep starting over.

It starts with awareness. Noticing you are in the spiral before it takes you under. Hearing the thought. Feeling the effect it's having in your body. And then choosing differently.

What to do when you feel self sabotage coming on

Here are the practices that have genuinely changed this for me and for the women I work with.

Write the unhelpful thought down. Then write the opposite.
When I notice a thought that is dragging me under I write it out. Then I write the opposite version. Seeing both on paper takes away the thought's power and gives me something to consciously choose between.

Old Thought: I'll never lose this weight

Becomes:
New Thought: I am building the body I want one day at a time.

Recognise shame and dread as contrast.
When you feel that heavy contracted feeling of shame or dread try to see it as contrast. What it's doing is showing you what you do not want.

So ask yourself, how do I actually want to feel? Confident? Present? Strong? Energetic?

And then find one action you can take right now to move toward that feeling. Sometimes it is meditation. Sometimes it is moving your body. Movement is one of the biggest needle movers for clearing stagnant lingering emotions.

Talk it out.
With a friend, a partner, a practitioner. Out loud. The thoughts lose their grip the moment you say them to another human being.

Meditate.
This is the one that has changed everything for me. In meditation you become the observer of your mind. You start to see your thoughts without becoming them. You are not your thoughts. They are passing through. And in that practice, over time, you learn to watch them arrive, acknowledge them, and let them go.

I actually shush mine, and then bring my attention back to stillness.

This takes time, and it's a practice (which means you have to practice it :P) And it's been the most powerful thing I have ever done for my mental and physical health combined.

This is a skill. And you already have it.

You don't need to be a meditation guru or a mindset coach to start. You just need to begin noticing your thoughts. Catching them before they carry you away. Asking yourself, is this thought helping me or hurting me?

Because the body follows the mind. Always.

The yo yo cycle does not end with a better diet only. It ends when you learn to lead your mind.

And when you do, your body finally gets to follow somewhere worth going.

Happy Day!

Jenna

Have some thought's you'd like to share on this? Connect with me on socials: @jenna_poole_nutritionist